Let Them Choose

Before giving career guidance counselling to children it is necessary that parents get a counselling session done. As parents, it is important for the elders to know what the child wants before pushing their wants in front of their child. After 10th, children are clueless as to what stream they are supposed to choose. If it is arts, commerce or science. As children, it is their birth right to walk up to their parents and get some suggestions. Parents are basically the mentors of the child from day one. As parents, it is your duty to suggest what is good and what is bad for your child but instead what parents tend to do is they push their unfulfilled dreams on their child which in turn kills the dream of the child. The child thinks, okay I am supposed to make my parents proud so I will do what my parents are asking me to do without realising that s/heis actually killing his or her own dream with his or her own hands. The unfulfilled dreams gradually prick the child through life till the end of  time. He or she becomes an unhappy person, spreading unhappines to the people around him or her.  It is totally okay if your child takes up commerce or science or arts. All have equal value. Let me state out the fact now, the demand for engineers has decreased over the period of time. It does not make any difference. There is competition in the world I agree but there is no competition with the cousins, with the friends, with the relatives children, with the Sharmaji ka ladka. The one and only competition is within the child.  What he or she is today and what he or she was yesterday is the only competition the child should know. As parents, we take away their freedom. We believe our parents didn't give us freedom so we will not give our child the freedom that the child needs. You have to change your thinking. The world today is not according to you, it's very fast, it's very technical, it's very tech friendly it's 

"SMART."

Give suggestions, beta this is this, this is this, and this is this. Be available for your child whenever he or she needs you. It may be for suggestions, for opinions, for advice, for emotional support but do not decide for them. It should be their decision which college they want to go to, which stream they want to choose, what they want to do in life. At that time, at least the child must have some clarity about what he or she wants for themselves.  We are parents. We are not the ring masters in the circus and our children are not tigers or a lion or an elephant that entertains people in the circus. Your relatives are just an audience to make fun of but you are the real support for your child. Your child will come to you when they need something and not go to Sharma ji or your relatives. Sharma ji might afford the education that he is giving to his son or daughter but it's okay there if you can't do the same. There is no compulsion that you have to put your child in the same college that Sharmaji's son is going in. You admit your child in the college of his or her choice for it will be your child there and not Sharmaji's. 

Sharma ji might be busy earning money, counting notes when his son needs something but you will always be available for your child. If your child walks up to you and says "Mumma, something is wrong. I need to talk to you." be there for your child. If your child says, "Papa I need some money for the material given in college, give them the money do not doubt on them. However, make sure you check the material that is got. See where the money is invested. Make a habit of writing down the accounts of the money spent. Keep an eye on the child but don't interfere too much. They are your children and you are a parent. They are not prisoners and you are not a jailor you know. Basically, this cycle of unfulfilled dreams keeps going on and on to the generation that are to come. You push your unfulfilled dreams on your child because your parents didn't allow you to pursue your dream. Your child will push their unfulfilled dreams on their children because you didn't allow them to fulfill their dreams.  This chain is never ending. 

Why do we have this tendency of pushing our decisions on them? Are they not humans? Don't they have the thinking capacity? Don't they have dreams? Won't they be able to choose wisely for themselves? If they make the wrong decision, be there for them. Don't taunt, don't punish, don't yell, don't shout, don't scold, just be there. If they fall, let them fall. They'll get up, walk again with baby steps. They will start all over again. If they do the things by themselves, choose what they want, and if they ever go wrong they will at least not blame you. Let them choose what they want. It's high time to normalize and accept their choices, dreams, ambitions, goals instead of pushing your dreams on them. 

DREAMS ARE DREAMS. BE IT YOURS OR BE IT YOUR CHILD'S.

Parents need to normalise to accept flaws, success, failures and everything else that is related to their child. Each child is different in his or her own way and it is parents duty to understand the capacity of their own ward and let them dream.

Parents should learn to accept their child the way they are instead of comparing them with someone else in the world outside or relatives or friends for that matter. It would be way better if parents just accepted the knitting dreams of their child and be happy with their child.

Let them live life the way they want to after they have reached a certain stage in their life. Instead of forcing your dreams on them, it will be better if you as parents accept those dreams of your children and let them lead life the way they want to.

In this competitive era, it gets difficult to achieve everything in one go. Some children take baby steps and some children take huge leaps. Just because your child is not running like the other child, doesn't mean that your child doesn't give the best of his or her capacity. Your neighbor's child maybe good at academics and your child maybe good in drawing or arte or singing or something else that someone else is not good at.

Competition is there at every step and at every stage, this world is growing competitive. Just because your child is choosing Arts over Science doesn't mean that your child is not capable of anything. Maybe your child is good at literature/History/ Hindi/English and some other subject that a Science student may not be good at. Just because your child is going to Commerce field and wants to be an MBA or a CA doesn't mean that your child is any less than your neighbour's. Just because your child has done engineering and then wishes to pursue MBA and then wants to join some bank, doesn't mean that choosing Science was a waste.

Let your children choose course/careers of their choice instead of you pushing all your unfulfilled dreams on their head. It would be way better if you would let them fly, fall, get up, dust themselves, dream and learn to walk again.

Just because you couldn't fulfill your dreams at your age, doesn't  give you the right to force your dreams on your children. By making them emotionally weak and convincing them the wrong way to make your dreams theirs, you're losing your child. Telling them all your dreams over and over again, that your dreams will remain unfulfilled if they don't pursue it, you'll be getting no where. Giving them guilt trips, by compelling them to dream your dreams, ambitions, goals and just making them suffer to achieve your dreams, will get you nothing but distance between you and your child.

Dreams are dreams after all be it yours or be it your child's. Just for you, they have to sacrifice their dream isn't right. Is it? You as parents have sacrificed a lot so have they given upon things you might not know it because they never told out in the open about sacrificing something for you. Just to make you happy, to keep you away from worries, they might agree to dream what you have dreamt of, but what about their ambitions? Have you thought about it? What about those simple dreams that they've sewed for themselves?

You couldn't fulfill your dreams when you were of their age doesn't mean you force all your dreams on them and continue the chain for generations together.

Just like how you have dreamt something for them, they too have them something for themselves. Just because you don't support them, maybe they will accept your dreams as their dreams and pursue but you really think by pursuing your dreams, they will be happy? You think it'll be a good choice?

Maybe your parents didn't allow you, didn't have your back but it doesn't mean that you don't support your children too. Back then, when you were of their age, when you were young, the conditions might have been different, the education system was not as strong as it is right now. Maybe your parents were not financially capable of helping you achieve your dreams but if you are financially strong and able then why not let your  children pursue their dream?

It may take a little longer for your child to achieve his or her dream than it took for someone else. Or who knows someone else might not even know what they want from life let alone living their dream but your child at least knows where his or her happiness lies. At least, your child is running after his or her dream.

There are many children out in the world who compromise from the day they are born to the last day, be happy that at least your child has never learnt compromising on their dreams that they have dreamt of from the time they have learnt what the world is. 

You compromised may be your  partner did too that doesn't mean your child also should adjust. Does it?

If you are capable of helping your child achieve his or her dream, then why not break the stereotype of forcing your unfulfilled dreams on them?

Tomorrow when your child is of your age, your child will be proud enough to say that "my parents helped me achieve my dream, my parents supported me to become the person I am today" and maybe your child will help his or her child to be the person of their choice.

In the era where money matters a lot more than peace of mind, be satisfied that your child is choosing peace of mind over monetary terms.

It's not very often that someone chooses peace of mind over money if your child is pursuing peace of mind, calm, satisfaction for a less amount of money maybe you're lucky you know.

If your child comes and shares the idea of their dream with you, may be your child is sorted and knows where his or her serenity lies. It's not always that dreams are fulfilled. The society isn't bringing up your child, you are. So your child will share things with you and not with the society. Forget what the society will talk about you, your family and child; make sure to preserve your child's dream, help your child in pursuing as well as achieve it. 

Be the change and see how the world changes slowly.

Don't wish me 'Happy Independence Day'

Don't wish me

'Happy Independence Day'

if you still poke your nose

in other's life and their business.

Don't wish me

'Happy Independence Day'

if you still feel it's okay

to harass a child of your family.

Don't wish me

'Happy Independence Day'

if you still choose to disrespect

a woman who toils day and night.

Don't wish me

'Happy Independence Day'

if you feel girl's belong to the kitchen

and boy's are for desk jobs.

Don't wish me

'Happy Independence Day'

if you pass comments when

you see a girl and a boy together.

Don't wish me

'Happy Independence Day'

if you're still a prisoner

of your others thoughts about you.

Don't wish me

'Happy Independence Day'

if you think education gives you

the right to look down on someone else.

Don't wish me

'Happy Independence Day'

if you can't respect our national flag

and people who fought for it.

Don't wish me

'Happy Independence Day'

if you're one of those who manages

to ruin someone else's peace

for your own satisfaction.

Don't wish me

'Happy Independence Day'

if you don't know the value

of the lady who gave you birth.

Don't wish me

'Happy Independence Day'

if you happy after making

someone cry for no reason at all.

Don't wish me

Don't wish me

'Happy Independence Day'

if you still poke your nose

in other's life and their business.

Don't wish me

'Happy Independence Day'

if you still feel it's okay to harass

a child of your family.

Don't wish me

'Happy Independence Day'

if you still choose to disrespect

a woman who toils day and night.

Don't wish me

'Happy Independence Day'

if you feel girl's belong to the kitchen

and boy's are for desk jobs.

Don't wish me

'Happy Independence Day'

if you pass comments when

you see a girl and a boy together.

Don't wish me

'Happy Independence Day'

if you're still a prisoner

of your own thoughts.

Don't wish me

'Happy Independence Day'

if you think education gives you

the right to look down on someone else.

Don't wish me

'Happy Independence Day'

if you can't respect our national flag

and people who fought for it.

Don't wish me

'Happy Independence Day'

if you're one of those who manages

to ruin someone else's peace

for your own satisfaction.

Don't wish me

'Happy Independence Day'

if you don't know the value

of the lady who gave you birth.

Don't wish me

'Happy Independence Day'

if you wear a tricolor for 2 days

in the entire year and forget about freedom.

Don't wish me

'Happy Independence Day'

if you still poke your nose

in other's life and their business.

Don't wish me

'Happy Independence Day'

if you still feel it's okay to harass

a child of your family.

Don't wish me

'Happy Independence Day'

if you still choose to disrespect

a woman who toils day and night.

Don't wish me

'Happy Independence Day'

if you feel girl's belong to the kitchen

and boy's are for desk jobs.

Don't wish me

'Happy Independence Day'

if you pass comments when

you see a girl and a boy together.

Don't wish me

'Happy Independence Day'

if you're still a prisoner

of your own thoughts.

Don't wish me

'Happy Independence Day'

if you think education gives you

the right to look down on someone else.

Don't wish me

'Happy Independence Day'

if you can't respect our national flag

and people who fought for it.

Don't wish me

'Happy Independence Day'

if you're one of those who manages

to ruin someone else's peace

for your own satisfaction.

Don't wish me

'Happy Independence Day'

if you don't know the value

of the lady who gave you birth.

Don't wish me

'Happy Independence Day'

if you silently watch a girl getting eve teased

and don't move an inch to help her.

Don't wish me

'Happy Independence Day'

if you still poke your nose

in other's life and their business.

Don't wish me

'Happy Independence Day'

if you still feel it's okay to harass

a child of your family.

Don't wish me

'Happy Independence Day'

if you still choose to disrespect

a woman who toils day and night.

Don't wish me

'Happy Independence Day'

if you feel girl's belong to the kitchen

and boy's are for desk jobs.

Don't wish me

'Happy Independence Day'

if you pass comments when

you see a girl and a boy together.

Don't wish me

'Happy Independence Day'

if you're still a prisoner

of your own thoughts.

Don't wish me

'Happy Independence Day'

if you think education gives you

the right to look down on someone else.

Don't wish me

'Happy Independence Day'

if you can't respect our national flag

and people who fought for it.

Don't wish me

'Happy Independence Day'

if you're one of those who manages

to ruin someone else's peace

for your own satisfaction.

Don't wish me

'Happy Independence Day'

if you don't know the value

of the lady who gave you birth.

Don't wish me

'Happy Independence Day'

if a lady/girl/baby isn't safe

in the broad day light as well.

We're not independent yet,

girls are still suffering,

they're still suppressed,

harassed, raped, killed, murdered

and you wish me 'Happy Independence Day' 

If a girl isn't safe, we're still not independent.

 Today we're celebrating 75 years of independence but are we actually independent? Are we actually free? Are we safe? Are we equal? 

We're still prisoner's of someone else's thoughts.

We still think about 'log kya kahenge?'

We still pass comments about a boy and a girl.

We still bother to poke our nose

in someone else's life for no reason.

We still believe that we're independent

In spite of being caged to many things.

WAITING TO BE SAVOURED

Waiting to be savoured

With the flavours of love

Love, I await you as if there's no end

To this wait, I'm waiting

The shooting star fulfills someone's wishes

As usual I hum my favourite song

I wish to have you as my home forever

Where I can come forever

No matter how good or bad my day will be

Being with you brings me peace

Eventually I wish to doze off

In your arms while you caress my hair

Kissing my forehead, when you wish to leave

In my deep sleep I tend to hug you much tighter

And eventually pull you back to me

Sleeping like a baby whole night

You just lie down and stare at me sleep

HUMMED HYMNS OF BRAVERY

Everyone Hummed hymns of bravery

Without knowing what actually it cost her

To be rebellious like a child

To be completely opposite

of what was expected from her

To be a different person altogether

To be something that she wanted to be

People still comment unconditionally

Some love her much more than before

She has fought battles in silence

Without showing her wounds and scars

She has been constantly underestimated

Always pricked by people for being strong

Ultimatum she gave by breaking her silence

After years she had spoken

And took a stand for her own self

Now she stands at a level

Wherein people try to pull her down

But fall off and die an untimely death

Even though they're alive, breathing

For her, they're dead long back

You don't belong to me anymore

You don't belong to me anymore

You're hers, you belong to her

You were my past and her present

She has left everything for you

You don't belong to me anymore

To be with you she has been waiting

To take 7 vows she has been joyous

To promise you to be with you, she's left her everything behind

You don't belong to me anymore

She's your wife, girlfriend, best friend

And everything else that she can be

Accept her and move on in life

You don't belong to me anymore

You can't call me whenever you want

Because she's with you, next to you

Sleeping peacefully like a baby

You don't belong to me anymore

Everything that we shared, 

The bond, relationship, care, rights and you

Everything is hers now,  nothing's mine

You don't belong to me anymore

You can't cling to me and pull her down

You shouldn't push her into water

Just to stay afloat with me

You don't belong to me anymore

Love and trust ended long back ago

Friendship wasn't there at all

Even tears have dried up now from my eyes

You don't belong to me anymore

You aren't my go to home like before

You can't cheat on her by talking to me

In her absence or her distance from you

You don't belong to me anymore

I won't cry for you to come 

For I know you can't come back

And mainly I don't want you to be back

You don't belong to me anymore

The shooting star finally fulfilled my wish

You're happy with someone else

And I'll pray for your prosperity always

You don't belong to me anymore

Neither you have the authority to raise your voice

Nor do you have the audacity to question me

She's your everything and only she should be

Us- You, Me and Her

I held back my feelings

Which I have had for you

Each time I saw you, 

I lost a lil bit of me

Each time I saw her with you,

A piece of my soul shattered

Every time you were with me,

She was present there too

It killed me to hold my feelings back

All the rights I felt I had on you,

She was the one who showed authority on you

The late night talks were the only means

For me to talk to you, to hear you out

I was afraid of losing our friendship

I didn't confess my love for you

Because she would break and shatter

I held my heart caged when it was you

Whom I was supposed to talk to

She liked you to the core

And I knew my feelings were beyond like

Reciprocation of feelings I felt at times

But then may be it wasn't for me I thought

Remember those afternoons

When we'd go to beaches?

I yearned to be with you, walk with you

But she was with you walking, talking

Remember those days when I used to cook just for you?

I wished to talk to you while cooking

You spoke as well but to her

That one strand of hair irritated me always

While I was busy doing my work

I wanted you to tuck it behind my ear

I didn't want any one night stand at all

But the lil romantic cherishable things

I wished from the bottom of my heart

You chopping and cooking for me

Or feeding me the food while I spoke non stop

Hugging me from behind and helping me chop

All the time, she was there

I yearned to hold your hands

Entwine our fingers and walk away on the sea shore

I don't know if it's love or jealousy or attraction

But yes, I died a silent death each time I saw you with her